Real success
Through my first official commission I realized what success was to me.
This commission was sponsored by the Western Plains Cultural Centre and Orana Arts for their ‘Ignite’ project. I was originally organised to have a month to complete it but the release date got changed; in the next 5 days I painted what I’d normally do in one month.
I was given a talented apprentice to help the long hours and freezing days. On the last day I painted 13 hours with no breaks. I was so wrecked that I slept through the official ‘Ignite’ opening the next day and missed the unveiling of my artwork.
I didn’t realize until this project that I had romanticised the creative lifestyle. Before ‘Ignite’ I loved this idea of being consumed by art. To be so focused on creating something that nothing else really mattered. During these 5 days I was so consumed that I regularly forget to eat and sleeping became a chore. Being focused is a great thing but letting myself be consumed like that wasn’t. This wasn’t success - this was unhealthy.
It also hadn’t dawned on me that the end result (the grand opening) wasn’t why I was doing this (because this moment came and went while I was sleeping). Success wasn’t being paid for my painting or seeing everyone see it, success was enjoying the creative process. Success wasn’t just finishing the artwork but it was being joyful and content in every hour painting it.
Sometimes the lamest quotes are just true “it’s the journey not the destination”.